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    11/25/2008

    所谓珍惜

        又花了五个小时的时间跟爸妈聊天,说些有一搭、没一搭的话,从国际金融形势到男朋友、食堂最近的伙食、国家的铁路线再到家里的亲戚朋友,眼见他们在平静的气氛中不停的争执、争执……
        究竟我们在追求的是什么?所谓个人价值?所谓功成名就?所谓家庭幸福?所谓天伦之乐?权衡之下,到底哪个是更重要?人总是觉得自己现在不好,换个样就会比现在强,就好像我总觉得调回去就会有美好的生活。但实际,回去以后复杂的人际关系、亲属关系,不确定的工作关系,两地的情感关系……矛盾和问题依旧很多。
        本来我很期待今晚能玩一玩游戏,因为昨晚我也花了大概三四个小时跟他们聊过天了。但是今天我开了电脑还是又忍不住打开了他们的聊天对话框。毕竟,我们相隔千里,我们不能在一起享受吃一顿饭的幸福,我就希望能多陪他们一些,哪怕是多看他们吵几架……但是,如果,我们真的生活在一起,我一定会厌恶那样的生活,就像我高中的时候极度厌倦我当时的生活一样,我想脱离。
        我总有种亏欠感,好像是我欠了他们。其实问题也不在于我。但是究竟在谁?回去,到底对我一生来说是选择还是放弃?不回去,这个机会成本是不是有点太大?到底哪个才对?我用一生的命运赌哪边,才是正确的选择???

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